marriage?

when i was little i had a big imagination

whenever i heard that word my mind exploded

visions of freash picked lilies and glowing stain glassed windows

appeared before my eyes

the touch of polished pews and glossy white satin

reached my finger tips

i would creep down the hall and

like a fox

i'd slink into my mothers closet

there was a pair of black high heels in the corner

her best shoes

i'd grab them quickly

and race back to my room

after crowding every stuffed animal

onto my bed

i'd grab my shiniest plastic jewlery

slip my tiny feet into those big black pumps

and i'd twirl,

to the best of my abilities,

around my room i spun

pretending i was a new bride

now when i hear the word marriage

things are

different

i still think of lilies and white satin gowns

i still feel it's a distant fariy tale

but i no longer feel

it's a sure fire "happily ever after"

the bigger you get

the more you worry

the more you pounder

everything that could go wrong

and if that one special moment

is worth all the trouble?